this emoji is so uncomfortable
it’s like “i really hope nobody notices i have a boner”
“oh my god i hope nobody heard that fart”
MY MUM JUST GOT SNAPCHAT IM DYING
vandalism in canada has gone too far if u ask me
Just saw the new superman film. Do NOT see it if you are a fan of buildings cuz all the buildings in it get FUCKING wrecked
I have been trying to drop this bottle of Mountain Dew™ for nearly twenty days. But I can’t drop it. I’m unable to drop it. The new Mountain Dew™ PET Bottle with Tactical Grip keeps my hand planted firmly. Even in sleep I cannot loose my grip from the bottle.
That drink looks cold. Maybe it’s just frozen to your hand?
It’s possible that I wish to drop the bottle. It’s possible I can drop the bottle. But my body wants it not. My body will not let me drop the bottle. The comfort of the new Mountain Dew™ PET Bottle with Tactical Grip cradles my hand like a fine linen on the body of a newborn baby.
I cannot drop the bottle.
kfc doesn’t even have to try anymore they’re just like come get your fucking bucket of fat you piece of shit
there’s this vent in my building and every time i walk past it i feel like it’s gonna whisper in a raspy voice something like “hey kid you ever killed a man”
i thought opening a door for a lady was the polite thing to do, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane
fire exits are so dumb. if a building starts burning the fire isn’t going to just leave. fire doesn’t even know what exits are